as mark twain put it: 'twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than the ones you did do. so throw off the bowlines. sail away from the safe harbor. catch the trade winds in your sails. explore. dream. discover.'

Thursday 29 April 2010

5799 miles later

hi. i am now in belize. i managed not to die on either of the flights, thanks to the wonders of valium, and whisky. a man sitting next to me showed me some photos he'd taken as we flew over greenland, then iceland - we were both pretty surprised as we figured to get to texas you'd just go straight over the ocean from heathrow. robert says it's because of the way the earth is, and if you look at it on a globe it makes sense. it didn't really matter as we could have been flying over the moon for all i cared, so long as we didn't drop out of the sky at any point. amazingly we didn't. i can't wait for the day they'll build a bridge over the atlantic. i was pretty impressed with continental airlines, and i think i can save up airmiles with them and maybe when i use my return flight i can get one of those big chairs at the front where you get free whisky and space to put your feet up.

for now we are living in a house in belize city, where the island owner (chris) will stay whenever he comes here. i have discovered that he made his money by being a geologist and telling some miners where to drill a mine and it struck gold so to speak - i imagine it's oil actually. the workers have been busy installing air conditioning and painting walls and putting up blinds and drilling things. they'll paint the outside later too.

it is hot here like it was before, it rained and lightninged in the night, i woke around 5am and we watched it. we are right on the water here and robert says he's been watching a crocodile some days, and some manatees. doug said they are currently building up the island's sea wall, and extending it by a few acres - so already my blog title needs amending as it will now be about 7 or more acres! we spoke about getting a vegetable patch out there, but there are issues as to wind/sun/salt/type of soil for what kind of things would successfully grow out there. i asked doug if we can put a velodrome around the island. perhaps my vision of the island won't quite match up to the reality.

last night i played my guitar a bit and we drank a rum with lemonade and then i fell asleep on the sofa downstairs as they were drilling the air conditioning unit into our room. it's quite weird to be back in belize, but it's nice to see robert again. we won't be on the island for a while due to the construction work going on out there, they anticipate it being up and running by december. i changed some money today, terrible exchange rate, and 15% commission fee - you betta belize it..........

wondering how the last election debate went today, heard about gordon's bigot comment in rochdale. i have sorted out my voting, mum will be my by-proxy person - i trust her more than dad to put the cross in the box i tell her to, dad might have had a strange 'memory lapse' and who knows who might become prime minister then - our vote in calder valley constituency is quite important, it counts for 0.7 of a vote apparently so i had to make sure i chose the right by-proxy parent.

going for some mexican food down the road now. missing england and everyone, hope all is well. xx

Friday 23 April 2010

holy smoke

welcome to my new blog. i'm not sure if the mark twain quote above is a bit cheesy but for now it's staying put as i like the sentiment.

i was supposed to be on a flight 2 days ago back to belize, via houston texas, but the volcano has put a stop to that until next wednesday at least. i quite like that our little world as we know it has been proven to be insignificant. am hoping they have made the right decision putting flights back on, i'm a very nervous flier and now i've got an actual reason to be more worried i'm not looking forward to that at all. i think things should stay on the ground in general, apart from fish and birds, who belong in the sea and the sky respectively, and worms who live underneath the ground.

the plan on returning to belize is that me and bert (henceforth restored to his proper name of robert) will be managing a resort on an island (i keep calling it a desert island which robert tells me off for). the island is called hatchet caye and is 18 miles off the coast of southern belize, 1 mile from the reef. it has palm trees and sand and sea, and currently 40 workers building new cabins for the guests. robert is currently based on the mainland in belize city and doing 'logistical' things, like buying food for the workers and getting it sent over on the island barge. and renovating a house the island owner chris has bought. it's quite strange to be going away again, having been back for 4 months, and there are still some unknown unknowns even though i do know some knowns too about things over there. you can see the island at www.hatchet-caye.com

whilst robert was here during january and february, we visited some castles - windsor, skipton, nearly warwick. we were mainly in search of the round table and king arthur's knights, having watched camelot the musical, at robert's request. his face fell when mum mentioned that king arthur is more legendary than actual, as he said he'd read that the round table was at windsor castle. tunrs out it's at winchester, and it's not quite the 'real' one, it's from 12something which is quite a bit later. vanessa redgrave and richard harris play guinevere and arthur, and franco niro plays lancelot, him and vanessa got together on this film, and later split up then got married recently apparently. he's got very blue eyes.


we also put up an old shed and renovated it including painting it inside and out (the colour of franco niro's eyes), taking off the metalwork, paint stripping it, and repainting it, sanding the floor, varnishing it, and now it's full of cushions and blankets like a morrocan tea room. helie put some indian incense in it too, but i think it's too small for that kind of thing, it made me feel a bit sick. it also has a wooden wind chime which makes it sound like a tibetan monastery. across the valley you can see a llama farm, it's quite fun to watch them running about from inside the shed.

to earn some money before going away again i have done some gardening next door, killed some rats for an old lady, worked on reception at a gasket firm (before you ask, a gasket is the thing that seals things like in a fridge door or car door, but my place made big ones for undersea oil pipes and oil rigs. for all your international gasket needs, i think was its slogan. i got told off for eating a sandwich at my desk, it was that kind of place you know), also worked at simply paving calling customers and checking they would be in when their paving was delivered. i could eat my sandwich at my desk there and i had a really good comfy swivelly office chair and a view of a little park.

things i've learnt whilst back in england:
they grow rhubarb by candle light in the rhubarb triangle (wakefield, morley, rothwell);
york minster is built on the site of the roman basilica, they only realised this recently when they had to excavate the foundations as it was sinking;
halifax parish church has been renamed a minster - falsely, it turns out as i discovered you can only become a minster if you were used for performing the ministry in saxon times - the parish church wasn't even built then;
i have arthritis in my toes;
i can type at 93 wpm - i wonder if i could get to 100;
how to change a nappy - on kathryn's baby josie, it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, also josie's head didn't fall off when i held her;
that the man who owns the island we will be living on has the same name as my uncle;
that i can cycle at half the speed i used to be able to, but i did manage to cycle up some steep hills, i did a whole 33 miles one day over into lancashire (didn't need to show my passport) and back down through todmorden (full of strange people) and hebden bridge (where the cool bike shop is where i hired a mountain bike from - it's called blazing saddles and they're all very friendly);
i quite like running, me and abi have been going every week, and also to pilates which is all about strengthening your core - your powerhouse they call it..;
how to use motorized hedge trimmers, and a power drill as a sander, and also that if you are screwing a screw in and it's too loose you can wadge up the hole with a matchstick;
that paint stripper is acidic and burns your skin if it goes on you;
that it's quicker going the a38 route to birmingham, not m62, m6;
that fountain pens are a really nice invention.

i have read some poetry as i didn't have enough attention span for books; i got a bit obsessed with masterchef; i sold some things on ebay, some more successfully than others - the first thing i sold it cost me more to post than i had made on it; me and robert met a man called george pickles (my dad's name) in ripon - he's the hornblower for the town and had ex raf friends, so we went to their club because robert is a pilot too, we entered a (raf)raffle but left before they drew it; we watched a huge tree being felled in the field opposite our garden; we went on the london eye in the fog; we visited fountains abbey, durham cathedral, the lake district; i turned down a job in keswick as a chef - can you imagine it, me cooking for 85 people, i can barely cook for myself. i liked the idea of living in keswick though, we had a nice afternoon tea at the hotel there. apart from when i asked the waiter if we could order coffee for one but with 2 cups, and he said no absolutely not at all, it'd be contravening company policy. so we ordered 2 coffees. i thought he ought to go back to poland with that attitude, and told him so, but under my breath so as not to offend him.

i have just heard that the world's largest rabbit has been insured for 1 million pounds - he's 4 foot 3 inches, now needs a bodyguard, and eats 12 carrots, 6 apples and 2 cabbages every day. here's our cat charlie, who doesn't have a bodyguard.


and finally here is the best joke ever: who is the roundest knight of the round table? sir cumference.